Two burgers, one dog, one malt, three cherry cola, one lime freeze.
That'll be a buck fifty.
Go buy yourself a banana.
Hey, Rich, your friend was looking for you. The blabbermouth.
- Oh, yeah, Potsie. Where is he? - Down there.
Hey, Rich, you look nice all dressed up.
Well, the French Club had their picture taken for the yearbook.
- I took a year. - Oh, that's very good.
Great, great, that makes 17.
One more, and we tie Madison's record.
Ralph, have you seen Potsie around?
- Yeah, he's in the booth. - Really?
Yeah.
- Potsie? Potsie? - Down here, Rich.
Hey, Rich. Rich, wanna climb in?
- One more, and we tie the record. - I don't think so.
Oh, come on. We just need one more.
- Why don't you do it, then? - Me? I'm the official counter.
- Come on, Rich. Please, come on. - Well, I don't know.
We're sure to get our picture in the school newspaper.
Maybe even LIFE magazine.
I'm too dressed up to fool around. I got my good clothes on.
So you'll look great in LIFE magazine. Come on, it'll be a blast.
- Come on, Rich. - Come on. Come on.
- Come on in. - I'll do it.
- Come in. - Watch out.
- Heave. Push. - Hey, look out for Spider's elbow.
Heave. All right, we tied. That's it. We did it, Madison's record.
And, you know, I better take a count just to make it official.
Hey, we gotta do it. I gotta do it.
- Hi, Potsie. - Oh, hey, Rich. Guess what.
- I got a date with Susan Denton. - So?
So? I'm the first guy she ever went outwith that wasn't on varsity.
Oh, I'm happy for you. Hey, would you mind moving your hand?
You're bending my tie clasp.
She said she'd go to Ralph's costume party with me.
- But she's got this cousin and... - I don't go on blind dates anymore.
Oh, come on, Rich, you owe me a favour.
For what?
Some memory you got. How about that date I got you with Mary Ellen Liskey?
That's why I don't go on blind dates anymore.
Oh, come on, Rich, this is important. Be a buddy.
- She good-looking? - I heard she's a lot of fun.
- She's fat. - And she's got a great personality.
She's fat with glasses.
To tell you the truth, Rich, I've never seen her.
But I'll make sure you get to see her before the party, okay?
And if I don't like her, the date's off, okay?
But I just bought you a soda.
That doesn't make any difference.
What's the world coming to when you can't bribe your best friend?
Howard, would you mind if I teamed up with Harry Malph for our bridge game?
Why don't you wanna be my partner?
Well, Hazel and I were talking,
and we decided that husband-and-wife teams just argue too much.
Oh, now, that's ridiculous, Marion. I don't argue, I make suggestions.
- You make them very loud, dear. - Are you and Mom fighting?
We're not fighting. We're having a discussion.
Your father discusses loud too.
All right, Marion, I promise I won't make any more loud suggestions.
Now, then, will you please stay as my partner?
All right.
Dad, when you guys play,
do you usually go straight through or take a lot of breaks?
We usually play straight through. Why?
I was just wondering.
He's afraid you're gonna raid the party.
Well, don't worry, Richie.
I'm going there to play bridge, not to raid the party.
How come you raided mine?
That's because Blimpy the Clown was jumping all over the furniture.
He was making us laugh.
- Who wants cake? - I do.
1:33:.
What are you gonna wear to Ralph's costume party?
I haven't decided yet.
How about something like Donald Duck?
Oh, Mom.
Well, what's wrong with Donald Duck?
Mom, it's hard necking with a beak.
Now, that's not the reason.
It is so. They do a lot of kissing at those parties.
There's nothing wrong with a little harmless kissing.
- Jeff Slaikes thinks there is. - Who's Jeff Slaikes?
- A boy who tried to kiss me once. - What?
I smashed him in the nose.
Good for you, dear.
That light's the thousand bulb.
A thousand points if you hit that bumper.
- All right. Okay. - Okay.
- You got it. You got it. - Hey, come on.
You're blocking the bonus wheel. Come on... Oh, nuts.
Rich, you're not in bad shape. You got 33,000.
Only 50,000 more for a free game.
Yeah, but this is my last ball coming up.
Hit the ball.
Yeah, but if I lose this ball, I'll blow the whole game.
Hit the ball.
Hey.
It's a free game.
Goodness gracious me, how'd you ever manage that?
That's great, Fonzie. Thanks.
Hey, Rich, I got something to tell you.
Well, I can't talk now. I just got a free game.
Free game? That's kid stuff. I got something important to tell you.
What do you want?
Well, I couldn't get ahold of Phyllis, but I got a picture of her for you.
She looks just like Jayne Mansfield.
It is Jayne Mansfield. It came with the wallet.
Here. Right here, that's her.
I can't tell what she looks like. Half of her face is in the shade.
Rich, it's a face.
The half in the shade looks like the other half except it's on the other side.
Use your imagination.
All right, I guess she's pretty.
- I'll take her. - Great.
Hey, look, I'll pick up both costumes and I'll pick you up at 7.
- Okay. Right, Potsie. - See you later.
Hey, all set for the little dress-up party, Richie?
- Yeah, I guess so. - Who you taking?
Well, Potsie set me up with Susan Denton's cousin.
- You don't know her. - A blind date.
Oh, no, I wouldn't go on a blind date.
- Is she good-looking? - Phyllis?
Well, she's kind of hard to describe. She's very dark, very mysterious.
But all you need is one quick glimpse of her and...
That bad, huh?
That must be Potsie and Richie.
Come in.
- Susan? - Hi, Potsie. In here.
- Hi. - We'll be done in a second.
- Finished? - Sure.
- I'm Susan. - I'm Richie Cunningham.
And this is my cousin, Phyllis.
- Hi. - Hi.
I'll get my flats.
Rich, I really think you're overreacting to this, huh?
I mean, look at it this way.
Jane Russell's tall, right? Would you turn down a date with Jane Russell?
No. Get me a date with Jane Russell.
At least you still got your sense of humour.
Oh, hey, there's Fonzie. Come on.
Not bad, huh, Fonz?
- Hey, Fonz. - Hey, Fonzie.
Isn't it great? I never thought Fonz would come.
Well, Sheena of the Jungle here wanted to wear her outfit.
I mean, where else was I gonna take her dressed like that, the zoo?
Couldn't you get a costume, Fonzie?
I'm wearing a costume. I'm Marlon Brando.
- But that's what you wear every day. - Hey, I just said I was Brando.
I put a little tear in my T-shirt.
That's great, Fonz.
Hey, thanks.
Let's see. I bid three diamonds.
That's what I was gonna bid.
Why don't you switch chairs with Harry
and then you can play diamonds with Hazel?
Can you do that?
- Just bid, Marion. - Well, I don't know what I can bid.
I've only got two spades and three hearts, and all the...
Marion, don't tell us what's in your hand.
I'm sorry.
- Now, try to be patient, Howard. - I am patient.
Now, will you please bid?
Three hearts.
Three spades.
It is just a game, Howard.
- Well, I'll get us some punch. - That'd be nice.
Yeah.
Hey, Rich, she seems like a nice girl, you know?
But I bet you don't see eye to eye on anything.
- Well, here you go. - Thank you.
Why don't we sit down?
That'd be better. I mean, that would be fine.
Wouldn't you like to sit over here?
Oh, no. No, I always sit on the arm.
It's funny, a lot of guys I go outwith seem to do that.
Well, I suppose I could sit over there.
You have very pretty eyes.
And you have a very straight part.
Can I ask a question?
Yes, Marion, just as long as you don't tell us what's in your hand.
Okay. Let's say that you're sitting in, say, the second position,
and you have, well, let's say a short suit, like two,
one of which is a big one, you know, like, for instance, a king,
and the other one is a little one, you know, let's say five or six,
and the dummy has something like a queen,
which can take your little one but not your big one.
Which one do you play?
Play the king, Marion.
Good. That's what I was gonna do.
So you think you may eventually wanna become a nurse, huh?
I'm not sure.
I just know I'd like to do something where I can help people.
Well, that's always nice, helping people.
Yeah.
Oh, you know, those two have been going together for a long time.
- What would you like to do, Richie? - Me?
I'm having a terrific time just sitting here talking, Phyllis.
No, no, I meant after you get out of college.
Oh, well, I guess-I guess I wanna go to law school, try and be a lawyer.
That's nice.
You know, actually, I believe they're engaged.
I want you to know I usually don't neck on the first date.
- It's your turn, Marion. - I know, Howard.
- I just don't know what to play. - Well, play anything.
It doesn't matter. It's only a game.
Well, you said to play anything.
Well, I know, but I never dreamed that...
- I'm sorry. - It's all right, Marion.
It's only a game that we're losing.
You know, I haven't heard a sound from downstairs in 20 minutes.
Harry, go downstairs just to make sure everything's all right.
I'll go, Hazel.
Oh, no, I couldn't ask you to do that, Howard. It would be too much trouble.
It's a lot less trouble than watching Marion play this hand.
- An Indian. - No, no, it's an eagle.
Now, this is an Indian.
Don't let me interrupt.
Dad, what are you doing down here?
Now, don't worry, I'm not gonna turn the lights on.
I just wanted to come down and see how the party was going.
- Well, everything's fine. - In this light, how can you tell?
Come here, Dad.
I'd like you to meet my date, Phyllis.
Pleased to meet you, Phyllis.
- You look very lovely in that costume. - Thank you.
Why don't we go get some punch, Dad?
Oh, fine.
- I'll be right back. - I'll be here.
Excuse us.
She's a tall one, isn't she?
Yeah, we look sort of like Snow White and one dwarf.
She seems like a very nice girl.
But it's so strange looking up at her all the time.
Richard, there never was a law
that said that a man had to be taller than a woman.
If there was, I wouldn't be married to your mother.
I know, Dad, but somehow it just seems more natural
for the guy to be taller than the girl.
Physical size doesn't mean anything.
People are as big as they are inside, believe me.
Look, do I seem short to you?
Yeah, Dad, you do.
Well, I better get back upstairs
and see how badly your mother and I are losing.
That's a cute outfit.
- Hey, Mr. C. - Fonzie.
I just want you to know that I've got everything under control down here.
See, I'm sort of a chaperon.
And Sheena of the Jungle here is the co-chaperon.
- Co-chaperon, huh? - Yeah.
So I don't want you to worry about anything.
Well, with you as chaperon, Fonzie, why should I worry?
All right, everybody, ready for strip poker.
Okay, party's over.
My folks said everyone's gotta be out of here by 12.
Hey, Potsie.
- What are you and Susan doing now? - I thought we'd go for a drive.
- A drive? What for? - So we can run out of gas.
Oh, bush league, bush.
Why don't you come up to the lake with us?
If a girl won't neck there,
then running out of gas ain't gonna help.
- Okay. I'll go get Rich. - Good.
Hey, Rich, let's go on up to the lake with Ralph.
No, things just aren't working out.
Oh, yeah, I understand how it is with you little fellas.
That's not funny, Potsie.
Oh, look, I'm sorry, Rich. Here, take my car. I'll go with Ralph.
- All right. - Okay, we're ready.
Hey, we're going up to the lake, Susan.
See you later, Rich.
Are we going to the lake, Richie?
No. But I got a better idea.
You see that?
That's the farmhouse where the town's first mayor was born.
And these are the woods where his ghost is supposed to live.
It's really nice of you to show me these things, Richie.
I figure, since you came all the way from another county,
you ought to see something more than just the town cannon.
- Yeah. What was that? - Oh, probably just the muffler.
Now, do you see that way over there?
- Oh, no. - What?
- I don't believe it. - What is it?
There's no gas.
You mean you ran out of gas?
Oh, listen, I know what you're thinking,
but I promise you that I didn't plan this, really.
- Really. - Don't worry, I believe you.
Maybe Potsie's parents keep an extra can of gas in the trunk.
Fonzie! Hey, Fonzie!
Fonzie, am I glad to see you.
Hey, it's a good thing that me and Sheena are out ghost hunting.
Pray tell, little knave, what are you doing with that can?
Watering silverbells and cockleshells?
No, see, we ran out of gas. You think you could give me a lift to a station?
Where am I gonna put you, on the handlebars?
Maybe you could give us some of your gas.
Hey, hey, hey. Give me your dagger.
- Give me your dagger. - Oh, yeah.
Well, I'm down to half a blade, but I figure I can give you a couple of drops.
Oh, thanks, Fonzie.
It's all right. Hey, what am I gonna do,
leave you stranded here dressed like that in the woods?
You might get beat up by a tough elf.
The spout's too big.
I have an idea.
There. Try that.
Hey, that's gonna work.
I'm sorry about all the trouble.
- But I really had a nice time tonight. - Yeah, it was fun.
Last time I was here, Susan fixed me up with some basketball player.
Six-foot-2 inches of solid dull.
You think you might be coming back again sometime?
I might come visit this summer.
Oh, well, if you do, would you like to go out again?
I promise I won't run out of gas this time.
- Sure, I'd love to. - Really?
- Well, I guess I'll see you then. - Yep.
Did you forget something?
- Would you mind if we traded places? - Not a bit.
Richie, if I tell you a secret, can I have a nickel?
- What's the secret? - No, the nickel first.
All right. Here's your nickel.
- What's the secret? - You got home at 2:00 last night.
- That's no secret. - It is to Dad.
You're cruising for a bruising, kid.
Oh, yeah? You'd have to catch me first.
- Oh, good morning, pumpkin. - Hi, Dad.
- Morning, Richard. - Morning, Dad.
- How was your date last night? - Fine. We got along just great.
Even considering her height?
Well, sure, Dad. I mean, we're mature adults.
- Well, that explains it. - Explains what?
Why Mr. Mature-Adult didn't get in till 2:00 in the morning.
Joanie told you?
- I gave her a nickel not to tell. - Well, there you have it.
I gave her a dime.
Joanie? Joanie?
Joanie?
Mom, I love you.